only almost here
by skyblue101
Summary: kaihil sonfic. I had started this when I was feeling blue and since I simply had to finish it so I listened to some angsty songs, got myself in the mood and voila! your finished product!


**I'm having a serious writers block with one of my stories, so I thought I'd write this to clear my mind.**

**By the way, the songs not mine. It was sung by bryan mcfadden. Its absolutely smashing if you are in the mood for angst. Enjoy!**

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**Almost here**

_Did I hear you right  
'Cause I thought you said  
Let's think it over _

You have been my life  
And I never planned  
Growing old without you

**Blank crimson eyes stared at the small back of the retreating brunette, as if hoping to pull her back to him by his mere gaze. Nothing happened. The frame of the brunette slowly disappeared into the horizon, leaving love, self-disgust and most of all, guilt to replace the empty air beside the motionless teen. He couldn't believe it. Why hadn't he noticed it earlier?**

_Shadows bleeding through the light_

_Where a love once shined so bright_

_Came without a reason_

**Of course. How could he have? He had after all ignored her so much these past few years that he was surprised she had sustained this long. He had always been that way. He always got what he wanted and after that pursued something different, forgetting that he must not, and now, it had cost him his Hilary.**

_Don't let go on us tonight_

_Love's not always black and white_

_Haven't I always loved you?_

**That's what he had said to her. Everyday, after every fight, and she had given him the chance he begged her for. Believing, like an innocent child he would stay with her… all that was needed was one more chance… until he let her down again. But not this time. This time her eyes had given the answer to his question. The answer that was just beneath those ruby orbs for so long, hidden by trust…**

_But when I need you_

_You're almost here_

_And I know that's_

_Not enough_

_But when I'm with you_

_I'm close to tears_

_'Cause you're only almost here_

**Yes, he had understood the message, without any words spoken. And that was why he had not struggled to keep her back… because she was right. Saying the same words again and again would not help, no matter how much he really truly loved her.**

_I would change the world_

_If I had a chance_

_Oh won't you let me_

_Treat me like a child_

_Throw your arms around me_

_Please protect me_

**He really did feel like a child without her. Like a baby infant, struggling in the world all alone. After a day of work, she would always be there, with her soothing words and soft smile. He had always taken it for granted, her gentle hands gently massaging his aching shoulders . but he had never thanked her for it, just went back to his dark room of work. He had truly treated her like a housemaid.**

_Housemaid…. _**Kai winced as tasted the word on his tongue.**

_Bruised and battered by your words_

_Dazed and shattered how it hurts_

_Haven't I always loved you?_

**All their fights made him hurt inside, so badly… but he never apologized. It just rolled of, passing onto the slowly growing resentment that built on through the years. He really should have paid attention to her. But he couldn't take back time, only remember it. He could still feel her silent words floating around him.**

_But when I need you_

_You're almost here_

_And I know that's_

_Not enough_

_But when I'm with you_

_I'm close to tears_

_'Cause you're only almost here_

**he hurt. She hurt. What good came of this? And it was all his fault. He could feel the argument for his folly at the tip of his tongue, but he bit it back it was no use. She wouldn't come back… even for a thousand words.**

_But when I need you, you're almost here_

_(Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you)_

_And when I hold you, you're almost here_

_(Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted)_

_(Now I'm with you, I'm close to tears_

_'Cause I know I'm almost here)_

_Only almost here_

**And that was it. No more to say. Kai slowly wiped a tear as it fell from his cheek. After all, it was true. He had never actually been there… just almost there….**

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**well, that's that! Hmmm, should I keep it a oneshot, or make it a better ending… what do you think?**


End file.
